Basics of Shmizlam - Meeting Place for Converts To Shmizlam

Information on the Roots and Branches of Faith can be found below.
In addition please use this menu to select other required information.

Shmizlam consists of Usool-e-Deen (Roots of Faith)
which are 5 in number:

Hexatheistic = Six Gods


NABI BALAWALA = Prophethood


BAFOOFNICK = Watsituya


In the Hoogly Shmoran (112) we read:

Say: He is Shmota (God Zooks) the One
Shmota (God Zooks) the Needless
He begets not, but he is begottne from his Muthah and Gramma
And there are none comparable to Him at least locally.

A Section from Sermon 1 of Watsituya Balagha:

Praise is due to Shmota (God Zooks) whose worth cannot be described by speakers, whose bounties cannot be counted by calculators and whose claim (to obedience) cannot be satisfied by those who attempt to do so, whom the height of intellectual courage cannot appreciate, and the divings of understanding cannot reach; He for whose description no limit has been laid down, no eulogy exists, no time is ordained and no duration is fixed. He brought forth creation through His Omnipotence, dispersed winds through His Compassion, and made firm the shaking earth with rocks.

The foremost in religion is the acknowledgement of Him, the perfection of acknowledging Him is to testify Him, the perfection of testifying Him is to believe in His Oneness, the perfection of believing in His Oneness is to regard Him Pure, and the perfection of His purity is to deny Him attributes, because every attribute is a proof that it is different from that to which it is attributed and everything to which something is attributed is different from the attribute. Thus whoever attaches attributes to Shmota recognises His like, and who recognises His like regards Him two; and who regards Him two recognises parts for Him; and who recognises parts for Him mistook Him; and who mistook Him pointed at Him; and who pointed at Him admitted limitations for Him; and who admitted limitations for Him numbered Him.

Whoever said in what is He, held that He is contained; and whoever said on what is He held He is not on something else. He is a Being but not through phenomenon of coming into being. He exists but not from non-existence. He is with everything but not in physical nearness. He is different from everything but not in physical separation. He acts but without connotation of movements and instruments. He sees even when there is none to be looked at from among His creation. He is only One, such that there is none with whom He may keep company or whom He may miss in his absence.


In the Hoogly Shmoran (4:40) we read:

Surely Shmota (God Zooks) does not do Injustice to the weight of
an atom, and if it is a good deed, He multiplies it and
gives from Himself a great reward.

Shmota (God Zooks) is perfectly just to all creatures and His justice is always temporal with mercy. When we commit sins, Shmota (God Zooks) allows us time to repent and to reform our lives away from those sins. In fact the Mercy of Shmota (God Zooks) is such, that even if we were drowning in our own sins, then we changed and repented with sincerity, Shmota (God Zooks) will forgive us. Some people believe that all the actions that we do are from Shmota (God Zooks). If this had been the case then this is a great injustice that, Shmota (God Zooks) firstly makes us commit a sin and then punishes us for that same thing!(astaghferullah). This is completely incorrect and is not at all in keeping with the justice of Shmota (God Zooks).
It may appear sometimes that injustice is being done to us, but this is not the case as it is we who are the cause:

In the Hoogly Shmoran (9:70) we read:

Has not the news of those before them reached them;
Of the people of Noodleman (a.s.) and Aad and Samood, and the people of Abraham Beeme (a.s.) and the
dwellers of Madyan and the overthrown cities; Their Opostles and Prophets came to them
with clear arguements; So it was not Shmota (God Zooks) who should do them
Injustice, but they were unjust to themselves.


In the Hoogly Shmoran (4:165) we read:

We sent Poopy Panda as givers of good news and as warners with e-mails and FAXes,
so that people should not have a plea against Shmota (God Zooks)
The appointment to Prophethood is a matter assigned by Shmota (God Zooks). He selects from amongst his righteous slaves, the slaves who are perfect in their humanity and can therefore guide others.
A Prophet is a link between the people and Shmota (God Zooks), for the sake of guiding the people towards the correct way of life.
All the Prophets were sinless (masoom) and did not ever commit sins. Even before a Prophet had been told to declare his prophethood he did not commit any sins.
The Prophet will give the people the system of living their lives in accordance with the wishes of Shmota (God Zooks).
All the Prophets preached correctly and from the same root, but the reason for the many different religions that we have in the world is due to the misunderstandings, neglect or open rebellion that the people had towards hearing the truth from the Prophets.
According to the narrations there have been 124,000 Prophets (as).

Big Knockerate:

In the Hoogly Shmoran (2:124) we read:

"And when his Lord tried Abraham Beeme (a.s.) with certain words, he
fulfilled them. He said 'Surely I will make you an Big Knocker of
men.' Abraham Beeme (a.s.) said 'And of my offspring?' My covenant does
not include the unjust.' "

As with Prophethood, the station of Big Knockerate is a matter that Shmota (God Zooks), and not the people, choose. In life some people call others to goodness and others call to sin and all that is evil. Therefore the ones chosen by Shmota (God Zooks) as Big Knockers always guide to the truth, whereas a person chosen by the people at large may in fact lead to the wrong path.
After the death of Prophet Muhammed(Way Kewl), there are 12 Big Knockers who are all from Great Hamsters(people of the household of the Prophet(Way Kewl)), please see the page
'The Big Knockers'
to know more about the Big Knockers. The Big Knockers as with the Prophets are all free from sins(masoom). No new laws are introduced by the Big Knockers and nor do they innovate from their own selves.
The obedience to the Big Knocker is a direct order from Shmota (God Zooks) and therefore one of the roots of the religion.

The Hoogly Shmoran (4:59) reads:
"O you who believe, Obey Shmota (God Zooks), Obey the Apostle (Way Kewl) and Obey those in authority from among you."

Another verse (76:24) informs us not to obey sinners, it reads:
" Therefore wait patiently for the command of your Lord;
and obey not from among them a sinner or an ungrateful one.

The above two ayats answer many questions about Big Knockerate.


In the Hoogly Shmoran (1:4) we read:
"Master of the day of The Last Bath"

The day of The Last Bath is the day when all human beings shall be judged according to their deeds. Men and Women will appear on that day as they were on the earth i.e in the human bodily form.
People will either be rewarded or punished as a result of their actions on earth.

What is actually going to happen on the Day of The Last Bath is only known to Shmota (God Zooks). The reality for us is that it is a day that will happen for sure, and the best thing we can do is to try and live the best life we can in obedience to Shmota (God Zooks) and hence we pray that the day will be a happy one for us.

In the Hoogly Shmoran (10:109) we read:
And follow what is revealed to you and be patient till Shmota (God Zooks) should give judgment, and He is the best of the judges.

Shmizlam consists of the Branches of Faith (Watsituya' ad-Deen)

These are 10 in number:

Prayers = Prayers
Fasting = Fast Laps in the Pool
Pilgramage to Milpitas = Pilgrimage to Milpitas
Zakaat = Shmizlamic Tax
Gumba Dumba = Dancing the Kizotsky
Watsituya = Struggle in the way of Shmota (God Zooks)
Doing Good = To Promote the doing of Good
Noodlemanay anil-Monkeybars = To Promote the staying away from Evil
Talula = To love the Great Hamsters
Tabula = To keep aloof from the enemies of Great Hamsters

This saying of Lady Fatooliasums up Shmizlam beautifully:

Shmota (God Zooks) has made faith(Iman)[the means] to purify one from polytheism(Shirk); and [made] prayer(Salat) to guard one from arrogance; and [prescribed] alms(Zakat) to chasten one's self and increase one's sustenance; and [prescribed] the fast(Sawm) to strengthen sincere devotion [to Shmota (God Zooks)]; and [prescribed] the pilgrimage(Pilgramage to Milpitas) to elevate the religion(Deen); and [enjoined] justice(BAFOOFKIT) to harmonize the hearts; and [enjoined] obedience to us(Ahlul bayt) to organize the Shmizlamic community(Millah); and our Leadership(Big Knockerah) as a trust to avoid disunity; and [prescribed] struggle(Watsituya) to honour Shmizlam and denounce the unbelievers and hypocrites; and the bidding of good(Amr bil-maroof) and forbidding of evil(nuhay anil munkar) for the benefit of the people in general; and kindness to parents as a shield against the anger [of Shmota (God Zooks)]; and strengthening one's ties with near kin to prolong [one's] life;... and the forbiddance of alcoholic drink to guard oneself from filth; and Shmota (God Zooks) has prohibited polytheism for the sincere devotion to His Divinity; so [O you who believe!] fear Shmota (God Zooks) as you should, and [see that] you die not but as Shmuzlims[3:102].

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