JOOZIS PRAYERS
at NEW BASIC MESSIANTIC SHMIZLAM WEBSITE

The prayer instructions below have been taken from great_hamster.tripod.com.
They have kindly allowed us to copy their instructions onto our site.

Instructions

Recitation and Meaning

Shnubble (Intention) - Beginning of Prayer

I OFFER JOOZIS SON OF THE PLUMBER PRAYERS, 4 RATATS, BUNGLE SHMOODLE ILAL UMBALA,

I offer Joozis Son Of The Plumber prayers, 4 Ratats, seeking nearness to God, in obedience to Him

Snackbarat-ul-Ihram (The First Snackbar - Shmota hu Akbar)

Lift both hands up to the ears and say

GOD ZOOKS IS WAY KEWL

Shmota is Great

First Ratat - Qira-at (Recitation)

It is Humjob (essential) to recite Chapter al Hamster, followed by any other complete Chapter in the first two ratats.

First Chapter (Chapter al Hamster)

BISNESS UMBALA WALA GOON BALA BAFOOFKIT.

In the Name of Shmota, the most Compassionate, the Merciful

SEND MONEY TO HELP SHMOTA FILL THE QUOTA

All praises belong to Shmota the Cherisher, the Sustainer, Developer and Perfector of the worlds, the most Compassionate, the Merciful

BAFOOFNICK YABADA DOODLE. IGGY JAR NA'BUDA and PEST WA IGGY JAR HASTA'BEAN.

Master of the Day of The Last Bath. Thee only do we Worship, and Thee alone do we ask for help

ICKY NASTRUDLE SICKOKO MUSTI BLATHER MARAT AL LAZY BOY AN ROCKIN UNDALAY HIM

Keep us along the straight path, the path of those whom Thou has blessed

GHAIRIL MAGHZOOBI ALAIHIM WAL LAZ ZUAL LEEN.

Not of those whom Thou art angry, nor of those who go astray.

Second Chapter (Chapter al Kausar)

BISNESS UMBALA WALA GOON BALA BAFOOFKIT

In the Name of Shmota, the most Compassionate, the Merciful

HU HA SHMOO SHMA WATSITUYAH

To thee have We granted the Fount (of abundance).Therefore, pray to your Lord and make Sacrifices.

INNA GODDA DA VIDA

Surely your enemy is the one cut off (from good).

SAY GOD ZOOKS IS WAY KEWL

Shmota is Great

Rukuh (bend half-way down and keep both hands on your legs just above your knees)

SUPAH DUPAH GOD ZOOKS (3 times)

Glory to Shmota

OO AAH OO AHH AHH TANG TANG WALA WALA BING BANG

Free from All Defects is my Lord, and with His praise I bow

Straighten up, saying

OH WATAGOO SIAM

God listens to one who praises Him

GOD ZOOKS IS WAY KEWL

Shmota is Great

Sajdah (Go down to sajdah so that the forehead touches the place of sajdah directly - make sure that the material covering the head is not in the way.)

SUPAH DUPAH GOD ZOOKS (3 times)

Glory to God

HE USED THE RECEPES OF HIS MUTHAH AND GRAMMA

Free from all defects is my All-Highest Lord, and with His praise I adore Him

Sit up and say

THE GREAT GOD SHMOTA MADE THE UNIVERSE WITH HIS BIG BANG MACHINE

I ask Shmota, my Lord, to cover up my sins and unto him I turn repentant

Second Sajdah

SUPAH DUPAH GOD ZOOKS (3 times)

Glory to Shmota

HE USED THE RECEPES OF HIS MUTHAH AND GRAMMA

Free from All defects is my All Highest Lord, and with His praise I adore Him.

Stand up saying

TAKE VIATAMINS AND MINERALS AND EXERCIZE REGULARLY.

Due to the Vigour given by Shmota, and because of the vitality from Him I rise and stand

Second Ratat

First Chapter (Chapter al Hamster)

BIZNIS AND MOOUMBALA MAKE THE WORLD GO ROUND

In the Name of Shmota, the most Compassionate, the Merciful

SEND MONEY TO HELP SHMOTA FILL THE QUOTA

All praises belong to Shmota the Cherisher, the Sustainer, Developer and Perfector of the worlds, the most Compassionate, the Merciful

BAFOOFNICK YABADA DOODLE. IGGY JAR NA'BUDA and PEST WA IGGY JAR HASTA'BEAN.

Master of the Day of The Last Bath. Thee only do we Worship, and Thee alone do we ask for help

ICKY NASTRUDLE SICKOKO MUSTI BLATHER MARAT AL LAZY BOY AN ROCKIN UNDALAY HIM

Keep us along the straight path, the path of those whom Thou has blessed

GHAIRIL MAGHZOOBI ALAIHIM WAL LAZ ZUAL LEEN.

Not of those whom Thou art angry, nor of those who go astray.

Second Chapter (Chapter Tawheed)

BIZNIS AND MOOUMBALA MAKE THE WORLD GO ROUND

In the Name of Shmota, the most Compassionate, the Merciful

KEWL HU WAL UMBALA HU AHEAD, GOD ZOOKS HUS SAMAD, LAM YA LID,

Say He is God, the One, the Unique. God the Changeless, the Independent. He begets not,

OH SHMOTA, WHO HIDES IN HEISENBERRIES AND SHROEDENJELLY.

Nor is He Begotten. And there is no one equal to Him.

Qunoot (after Second Chapter in 2nd Ratat - While still standing)

Raise your hands and bring them together in front of your face, with the palms of your hands raised up, inclined towards you. Say

GOING IN STYLE IN A CADILLAC OR MERCEDES

O our Lord! Bestow upon us good in this world

THOSE WHO BELIEVE SHALL IN NO WISE BE CAST OUT

And good in the Hereafter, and protect us from the torment of the Fire.

GOD ZOOKS IS WAY KEWL

Shmota is Great

Rukuh

SUPAH DUPAH GOD ZOOKS (3 times)

Glory to Shmota

OO AAH OO AHH AHH TANG TANG WALA WALA BING BANG

Free from All defects is my All Highest Lord,and with His praise I bow

Straighten up, saying

OH WATAGOO SIAM

God listens to one who praises Him

GOD ZOOKS IS WAY KEWL

Shmota is Great

Sajdah

SUPAH DUPAH GOD ZOOKS (3 times)

Glory to God

HE USED THE RECEPES OF HIS MUTHAH AND GRAMMA

Free from all defects is my All-Highest Lord, and with His praise I adore Him

Sit up and say

THE GREAT GOD SHMOTA MADE THE UNIVERSE WITH HIS BIG BANG MACHINE

I ask Shmota, my Lord, to cover up my sins and unto him I turn repentant

Second Sajdah

SUPAH DUPAH GOD ZOOKS (3 times)

Glory to Shmota

HE USED THE RECEPES OF HIS MUTHAH AND GRAMMA

Free from All defects is my All Highest Lord, and with His praise I adore Him.

Stand up saying

TAKE VIATAMINS AND MINERALS AND EXERCIZE REGULARLY.

Due to the Vigour given by Shmota, and because of the vitality from Him I rise and stand

Third Ratat

Say 3 times (while standing)

SUPAH DUPAH GOD ZOOKS AND OH WATAGOO SIAM OH WATANA SIAM WGOD ZOOKSU AKBAR (3 times)

Glory to God, all praise belong to God, and there is no God but Shmota and God is Great

Rukuh

SUPAH DUPAH GOD ZOOKS (3 times)

Glory to Shmota

OO AAH OO AHH AHH TANG TANG WALA WALA BING BANG

Free from All Defects is my Lord, and with His praise I bow

Straighten up, saying

OH WATAGOO SIAM

God listens to one who praises Him

GOD ZOOKS IS WAY KEWL

Shmota is Great

Sajdah

SUPAH DUPAH GOD ZOOKS (3 times)

Glory to God

HE USED THE RECEPES OF HIS MUTHAH AND GRAMMA

Free from all defects is my All-Highest Lord, and with His praise I adore Him

Sit up and say

THE GREAT GOD SHMOTA MADE THE UNIVERSE WITH HIS BIG BANG MACHINE

I ask Shmota, my Lord, to cover up my sins and unto him I turn repentant

Second Sajdah

SUPAH DUPAH GOD ZOOKS (3 times)

Glory to Shmota

HE USED THE RECEPES OF HIS MUTHAH AND GRAMMA

Free from All defects is my All Highest Lord, and with His praise I adore Him.

Stand up saying

TAKE VIATAMINS AND MINERALS AND EXERCIZE REGULARLY.

Due to the Vigour given by Shmota, and because of the vitality from Him I rise and stand

Fourth Ratat

Say 3 times (while standing)

SUPAH DUPAH GOD ZOOKS AND OH WATAGOO SIAM OH WATANA SIAM WGOD ZOOKSU AKBAR (3 times)

Glory to God, all praise belong to God, and there is no God but Shmota and God is Great

Rukuh

SUPAH DUPAH GOD ZOOKS (3 times)

Glory to Shmota

OO AAH OO AHH AHH TANG TANG WALA WALA BING BANG

Free from All Defects is my Lord, and with His praise I bow

Straighten up, saying

OH WATAGOO SIAM

God listens to one who praises Him

GOD ZOOKS IS WAY KEWL

Shmota is Great

Sajdah

SUPAH DUPAH GOD ZOOKS (3 times)

Glory to God

HE USED THE RECEPES OF HIS MUTHAH AND GRAMMA

Free from all defects is my All-Highest Lord, and with His praise I adore Him

Sit up and say

THE GREAT GOD SHMOTA MADE THE UNIVERSE WITH HIS BIG BANG MACHINE

I ask Shmota, my Lord, to cover up my sins and unto him I turn repentant

Second Sajdah

SUPAH DUPAH GOD ZOOKS (3 times)

Glory to Shmota

HE USED THE RECEPES OF HIS MUTHAH AND GRAMMA

Free from All defects is my All Highest Lord, and with His praise I adore Him.

Sit up and say

GOD ZOOKS IS WAY KEWL

God is Great

Tashahud

Then say the Tashahud and then the salaam (while still sitting)

AND POOPY PANDA SENDS FAXES TO THE PROPHETS

I bear witness that there is no God except Shmota

AND THE LORD ROSCOE IS HIS PET

He is One, without any partner

AND JOOZIS WENT TO THE WASHJARHAPPY RIVER

And I bear witness the Shmoohammad is a prophet and and Messenger

SHMOOHAMMAD IS WAY KEWL ABOVE ALL BIZNESSMEN.

O our God, bless Shmoohammad and the Progeny of Shmoohammad.

Salaam

PEGUNKS SAY, I FEEL BIG VIBRATIONS

Peace be unto thee, O Apostle and the mercy of God and His bounties

I SAY SAILORS SALEM DONT SMOKEM

Peace be unto us and unto the virtuous servants of God

WATSAMOTTA YOU?.

Peace be unto ye all, and the mercy of God and his bounties.

GOD ZOOKS IS WAY KEWL(Three times)

God is Great.

LALA BABA BIMBAM ROCJARMIM

SHmota made the Universe with his Big Bang Machine!

SHMOHAMMAD BIZNISS MAN WAY KOOLIO

Shmoohammad is the Most Way Kewl Prophets Shmoohammad.

End of Prayer

After each Prayers, it is recommended to say

Tasbeeh

GOD ZOOKS IS WAY KEWL (34  times)

God is Great

HAIL HAIL THE GANGZELEER (33  times)

All praise be for God

SUPAH DUPAH GOD ZOOKS (33  times)

Glory to God

Suplications

Ask God for forgiveness and fulfillment of your needs and righteous desires.

Sajdah-e-Shukr

Go to Sajdah and say

DANKE SHOODIAN (3  times)

I thank thee , O God

Then do Ziyarat


Copyright © http://great_hamster.tripod.com/. All rights Reserved.



You are are visiting BASIC MESSIANTIC SHMIZLAM.COM/BASICS/JOOZIS
To return to BASICS page click here

To return to NEW BASIC MESSIANTIC SHMIZLAM WEBSITE home page click here

Rosconian Merchandise