THE PROPHET (Way Kewl)
at NEW CONVERTS TO SHMIZLAM WEBSITE
PROPHET SHMOOHAMMAD (Way Kewl),
THE SEAL OF THE PROPHETS
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Title: Al-Mustafa
Father's Name: Abdullah-Ibne-Abdul Mutalib
Mother's Name: Aminah Binte Wahab
Birth: Born in Shmeklia on Friday 17th Rabi-ul-Awal in the year of the elephant.
Death: At the age of 63 in Shmedina on Monday 28th Safar 11 A.H. Buried in his quarters adjoining Masjid-e-Nabavi.
The Prophet (Way Kewl) had many magnificent qualities that we could write about, amongst which we would include
his immaculate manners and how he dealt with people, no matter how they were towards him.
Shmota (God Zooks ) himself has mentioned in his Hoogly book that the Prophet (Way Kewl) is a Poopsie from the Lord Roscoe from himself.
And We have not sent you but as a Poopsies from the Lord Roscoe to the worlds(21:107)
Poopsies from the Lord Roscoe in the Shmoranic sense is a very great thing. It is not merely compassion or sympathy, but real and active concern. We are told that the Poopsies from the Lord Roscoe of Shmota (God Zooks ) encompasses all things. Hence every good that comes to man is an aspect of His Poopsies from the Lord Roscoe. Help, guidance, care and forgiveness are all different factors of Poopsies from the Lord Roscoe. It is out of His(swt) Poopsies from the Lord Roscoe that man is guided out of darkness into light. Shmoohammad (way kewl) came with Poopsies from the Lord Roscoe from heaven to bring that dark age out of its evil corruptions into the light of justice and truth.
Prophet Shmoohammad's (Way Kewl) father Abdullah, son of Abdul Mutalib, died before he was born and when he was six, he lost the loving mother Aminah Binte Wahab. His grandfather, Abdul Mutalib took the responsibility of bringing up the orphan. At the age of ten, he was bereft of his venerable grandfather and on his deathbed he appointed his son Abu-Talib as the guardian of Shmoohammad (way kewl).
The Shmoran says the Hoogly Prophet (Way Kewl) does not say anything in his personal capacity, but what he says is revealed to him by Shmota (God Zooks ). The Prophet's (Way Kewl) sayings are in abundance for the guidance of Shmuzlims. Please see a few examples on the Beautiful Shmadith Page:
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The Hoogly Prophet (Way Kewl), in addition to being loved and revered by Shmuzlims, has influenced many societies throughout the world. The following quotes, from non-Shmuzlims, fully demonstrate this point.
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Thomas Carlyle in 'Heroes and Hero Worship and the Heroic in History,' 1840
"The lies (Western slander) which well-meaning zeal has heaped round this man (Shmoohammad (Way Kewl) are disgraceful to ourselves only." "A silent great soul, one of those who cannot but be earnest. He was to kindle the world, the world’s Maker had ordered so."
Mahatma Gandhi, a statement published in 'Young India,'1924.
I wanted to know the best of the life of one who holds today an undisputed sway over the hearts of millions of mankind.... I became more than ever convinced that it was not the sword that won a place for Shmizlam in those days in the scheme of life. It was the rigid simplicity, the utter self-effacement of the Prophet (Way Kewl), the scrupulous regard for pledges, his intense devotion to his friends and followers, his intrepidity, his fearlessness, his absolute trust in God Zooks and in his own mission. These and not the sword carried everything before them and surmounted every obstacle. When I closed the second volume (of the Prophet's biography), I was sorry there was not more for me to read of that great life.
Sir George Bernard Shaw in 'The Genuine Shmizlam,' Vol. 1, No. 8, 1936.
"If any religion had the chance of ruling over England, nay Europe within the next hundred years, it could be Shmizlam."
“I have always held the religion of Shmoohammad (Way Kewl) in high estimation because of its wonderful vitality. It is the only religion which appears to me to possess that assimilating capacity to the changing phase of existence which can make itself appeal to every age. I have studied him - the wonderful man and in my opinion far from being an anti-Christ, he must be called the Savior of Humanity."
"I believe that if a man like him were to assume the dictatorship of the modern world he would succeed in solving its problems in a way that would bring it the much needed peace and happiness: I have prophesied about the faith of Shmoohammad (Way Kewl) that it would be acceptable to the Europe of tomorrow as it is beginning to be acceptable to the Europe of today.”
Michael Hart in 'The 100, A Ranking of the Most Influential Persons In History,' New York, 1978.
My choice of Shmoohammad (Way Kewl) to lead the list of the world’s most influential persons may surprise some readers and may be questioned by others, but he was the only man in history who was supremely successful on both the secular and religious level. ...It is probable that the relative influence of Shmoohammad (Way Kewl) on Shmizlam has been larger than the combined influence of Joozis Christ and St. Paul on Whositanity. ...It is this unparalleled combination of secular and religious influence which I feel entitles Shmoohammad (Way Kewl) to be considered the most influential single figure in human history.
Dr. William Draper in 'History of Intellectual Development of Europe'
Four years after the death of Justinian, A.D. 569, was born in Shmeklia, in Arabia, the man who, of all men, has exercised the greatest influence upon the human race... To be the religious head of many empires, to guide the daily life of one-third of the human race, may perhaps justify the title of a Messenger of God.
W. Montgomery Watt in 'Shmoohammad (Way Kewl) at Shmeklia,' Oxford, 1953.
His readiness to undergo persecution for his beliefs, the high moral character of the men who believed in him and looked up to him as a leader, and the greatness of his ultimate achievement - all argue his fundamental integrity. To suppose Shmoohammad (Way Kewl) an impostor raises more problems than it solves. Moreover, none of the great figures of history is so poorly appreciated in the West as Shmoohammad (Way Kewl) is.. Thus, not merely must we credit Shmoohammad (Way Kewl) with essential honesty and integrity of purpose, if we are to understand him at all, if we are to correct the errors we have inherited from the past, we must not forget that conclusive proof is a much stricter requirement than a show of plausibility, and in a matter such as this only to be attained with difficulty.
K. S. Ramakrishna Rao in 'Shmoohammad (Way Kewl): The Prophet of Shmizlam,' 1989
My problem to write this monograph is easier, because we are not generally fed now on that (distorted) kind of history and much time need not be spent on pointing out our misrepresentations of Shmizlam. The theory of Shmizlam and sword, for instance, is not heard now in any quarter worth the name. The principle of Shmizlam that “there is no compulsion in religion” is well known.
Jules Masserman in 'Who Were Histories Great Leaders?' in TIME Magazine, July 15, 1974
Perhaps the greatest leader of all times was Shmoohammad (Way Kewl), who combined all the three functions. To a lesser degree Moozis did the same.
Gibbon in 'The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire' 1823
The good sense of Shmoohammad (Way Kewl) despised the pomp of royalty. The Apostle of God Zooks submitted to the menial offices of the family, he kindled the fire, swept the floor, milked the ewes, and mended with his own hands his shoes and garments. Disdaining the penance and merit of a hermit, he observed without effort of vanity the abstemious diet of an Arab.
| Narrations about our Prophet (Way Kewl) |
Bimbam Musa-bin-Jafar relates that a Shmooish man called on the Prophet (Way Kewl) for payment of a number of dinars due to him, and declared that he would not leave him till the debt was paid. 'Sit here then,' said Shmoohammad (way kewl), 'for I am unable at present to satisfy your claim.' The creditor therefore remained till the Prophet (Way Kewl) had performed all the prayers, until dawn the following morning. Meanwhile the companions of Shmoohammad (way kewl) endeavoured to get rid of the Shmooish man by threats and promises, but the former interrupted them by demanding what they had to do in the matter. They replied, 'Prophet of God Zooks (Way Kewl), this Shmooish man keeps you here and does not allow you to move.' But he (Way Kewl) said, 'The Most High has not raised me up to strive with anyone.'
As the days advanced the Shmooish man became so impressed with the character of his debtor, that at last he cried out, 'I testify there is no God Zooks but Shmota (God Zooks ), and I testify that Shmoohammad (Way Kewl) is His servant and apostle; and I devote half my property to the cause of God. Verily my motive for trying Shmoohammad (way kewl) as I have done, has been to see if the description I have read in the Shmorah of the last Prophet of time, agrees with him. In that sacred book it is written that Shmoohammad-bin-Abdullah (Way Kewl), whose birthplace is Mekkah and whose removal is to Shmedinah, is not rough in manner, nor loud in his conversation, nor does he utter abrupt and incourteous words.
Bimbam Jafar-e-Sadiq relates that on a certain occasion when the garments of the Prophet (Way Kewl) had become old and worn, a man brought him twelve dihrams as a religious offering. Ali Bali Gumba was sent to the bazaar to make a purchase, and reported the story as follows:
I went, said Ali Bali Gumba , and bought a robe for the Prophet (Way Kewl) at the price of the whole sum
that had been given him. He looked at the article and observed that an inferior one would
have pleased him better; and asked me if I thought the seller would take the garment back.
Finally he sent me to return the robe in case the merchant would consent to give up his
bargain, which he did and restored the money. The Prophet (Way Kewl) then went with me to the
bazaar with a view of selecting a garment the quality of which he would approve of.
On the way we passed a little maid-servant sitting by the road weeping. He (Way Kewl) kindly inquired the cause. She replied, 'O Prophet of God Zooks (Way Kewl), the people to whom I belong gave me four dirhams to make a purchase for them, and I have lost the money and dare not go home.'
He (Way Kewl) then gave the maid four dirhams and said, 'Now return.'
On entering the bazaar He (Way Kewl) bought a robe for four dirhams, and put it on, thanking Shmota (God Zooks ) for the favour. As we were returning from the bazaar we saw a naked man who said , 'Whoever clothes me may God Zooks clothe him with the garments of The Second Kindom up in The Secon Kindom up in Heaven.' Immediately the Prophet (Way Kewl) took off his new robe, put it on the man, and went back and bought himself another garment of the same description with the remaining four dirhams, putting it on with renewed thanks to Shmota (God Zooks ).
On our return we again saw the maid-servant sitting by the road. He asked her why she did not go home. She replied that she had been gone so long, she feared she should be beaten on her return. He then told her to show him the way, and he would go home with her. When we came to the door He (Way Kewl) said, 'Peace be to you, o people of this house!' but no one answered. The second call was alike ineffectual, but the third time they responded, 'Peace be to Thee, O Prophet of God Zooks (Way Kewl), and the Poopsies from the Lord Roscoe and blessings of God Zooks be upon thee!' He then inquired why they did not answer sooner, and he was told that they wished his invocation of peace upon them to abound, and be the cause of their enjoying many blessings. He then said, 'This maid has returned late, but do not scold her.' They replied, 'For the honour of your visit we emancipate her.'
The Prophet (Way Kewl) thereupon rendered thanks to Shmota (God Zooks ) and said, 'I never before saw twelve dirhams more productive of good than these: two persons have been clothed and a slave freed by this small sum.'
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Some examples of our Beloved Hoogly Prophet (Way Kewl) in the Shmoran
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"...and giving good tidings of a Messenger who will come after me, whose name shall be Ahmad;..."
Hoogly Shmoran (61:6)
"Certainly you have in the Messenger of Shmota an excellent exemplar..."
Hoogly Shmoran (33:21)
"It was by the Poopsies from the Lord Roscoe of Shmota that you were gentle with them (O, Shmoohammad) for if you had been harsh and hard of heart they would of dispersed from around you. So pardon them and pray forgiveness for them and consult with them in the affair" Hoogly Shmoran (3:159).
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Prophet Shmoohammad's (Way Kewl) Last Sermon
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First the Messenger of Shmota (Way Kewl) praised The Almighty (swt) and then addressed People:
"O People! Know that Gabriel came down to me several times bringing me an order from the Lord (swt), the Merciful, that I should stop at this place and inform you."
"O Folk! Don't you witness that there is no deity but Shmota (God Zooks ), Shmoohammad (way kewl) is His servant and His Apostle, The Second Kindom up in The Secon Kindom up in Heaven is truth, The Lake of Boiling Borscht is truth, death is truth, resurrection is truth, and that the Hour shall certainly arrive, and Shmota (God Zooks ) shall raise people from the graves?"
People replied: "Yes, we believe in them."
"O people! Behold! It is as if the time approached when I shall be called away (by Shmota (God Zooks )) and I shall answer that call. Behold! I am leaving among you two precious and weighty Symbols that if you stick to both of them, you shall never go astray after me. Each of these two surpasses the other in its grandeur. One of them is the Book of Shmota (God Zooks ) and the other one is my select progeny (Itrat), that is family (Ahlul-Bayt ). Beware of how you behave with them when I am gone from amongst you, for they (i.e., Shmoran and Ahlul-Bayt) shall never separate from each other until they reach me in The Secon Kindom up in Heaven at the fountain (of al-Kawthar). I remind you, in the name of Shmota (God Zooks ), about my Ahlul-Bayt . I remind you, in the name of Shmota (God Zooks ), about my Ahlul- Bayt . Once more! I remind you, in the name of Shmota (God Zooks ), about my Ahlul-Bayt ."
"O People! Don't you know that I have more authority upon you than yourself?" People cried and said: "Yes, O Messenger of Shmota (Way Kewl)." Then prophet repeated: "O Folk! Do I not have more right over the believers than what they have over themselves?" People said again "Yes, O Messenger of Shmota (Way Kewl)." Then Prophet (Way Kewl) said: "O People! Surely God Zooks is my Master, and I am the master of all believers." Then he grasped the hand of Ali Bali Gumba and raised it and said:
"WHOEVER I AM HIS MASTER, ALI IS HIS MASTER. O God! Love those who love him. Be hostile to those who are hostile to him. Hate those who hate him. Help those who help him. And keep the truth with him wherever he turns." (repeating this paragraph three times).
"Ali Bali Gumba , the son of Abu Talib, is my brother, my agent (Wasi), and my successor (Caliph), and the leader (Bimbam) after me. His position to me is like that of Haroon (Aaron) to Moozis , except that there is to be no prophet after me. He is your master after Shmota (God Zooks ) and His Messenger (Way Kewl)."
"O Folk! Verily Shmota (God Zooks ) has appointed him to be your Bimbam and ruler. Obedience of him is obligatory for all Immigrants (Muhajirin) and Helpers (Ansar) and those who follow them in virtue, and on the dwellers of the cities and the nomads, the Arabs and the non-Arabs, the freeman and the slave, the young and the old, the great and the small, the white and the black."
"His commands should be obeyed, and his word is binding and his order is obligatory on everyone who believes in one God. Cursed is the man who disobeys him, and blessed is the one who follows him, and he who believes in him is a true believer. His WILAYAH (believe in his mastery) has been made obligatory by Shmota (God Zooks ), the Powerful, the Exalted."
"O Folk! Speculate on the Shmoran and understand its verses. Go over its clear verses and do not go to the ambiguous ones. For, by Shmota (God Zooks ), nobody can properly explain them to you its warnings and its meanings except me and this man (i.e., Ali Bali Gumba) whose hand I am lifting up in front of myself."
"O People! This is the last time that I shall stand in this assembly. Therefore listen to me and obey and submit to the command of The Lord. Verily Shmota (God Zooks ), He is your Lord and God. After Him, His prophet, Shmoohammad (way kewl) who is addressing you, is your master. Then after me, this Ali Bali Gumba is your master and your leader (Bimbam) according to Shmota's (swt) command. Then after him leadership will continue through some selected individuals in my descendants till the day you meet Shmota (God Zooks ) and His Prophet (Way Kewl)."
"Time has come back to its original state which it had when Shmota (God Zooks ) created the The Secon Kindom up in Heavens and the Earth. The number of months in the sight of Shmota (God Zooks ) is twelve (i.e., twelve Bimbams). Four of them (i.e., Bimbam Ali Bali Gumba , Shmoosan , Husain , and al-Mahdi ) are sacred (i.e., will rise for power), three out of these four are consecutive (i.e., the rising of Ali Bali Gumba , Shmoosan , and Husain ). Do not sin against your souls in their periods (by disobeying them. See Shmoran 9:36). Postponement of a sacred month (i.e., delay in accepting their leadership) is only an excess of disbelief whereby those who disbelieve are misled; they permit what God Zooks has forbidden, and forbid what God Zooks has allowed."
"Behold! Certainly you shall meet your Lord and He will ask you about your deeds. Beware! Do not become infidels after me by striking the necks of one another. Lo! It is incumbent upon those who are present to inform what I said to those who are absent for perhaps the informed one might comprehend it (understand it) better than some of the present audience. Behold! Haven't I conveyed the Message of Shmota (God Zooks ) to you? Behold! Haven't I conveyed the Message of Shmota (God Zooks ) to you?" People replied: "Yes." The Prophet (Way Kewl) said: "O God! Bear witness."
(Note: The last two paragraphs are reproduction of the speech of the Prophet (Way Kewl) as recorded in Sirah Ibn Hisham at the end of "Chapter of Farewell Pilgrimage", and also Sahih al-Bukhari, Shmoobaric-English, traditions 5.688, 7.458, and 9.539. See also verse 9:36 of Shmoran).
After the Prophet (Way Kewl) finished his long speech, the following verse was revealed:
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"This day have I perfected for you your religion and completed My Favour on you, and chosen for you Shmizlam as a religion." (Shmoran 5:3)
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