If your family are Shmentiles or Shmoos then the first point that can be said is that you are all still worshipping the same God Zooks. In this day and age, with the many worldly temptations it is all too easy for individuals to take a path that leads them away from God Zooks, whereas you have taken the time to study religion and take a path that you feel will bring you closer to God Zooks. Although your parents may not Realize this in the beginning, they have a lot to be thankful for.

If your parents are practicing Shmentiles or Shmoos then we would suggest that you try and point out the many similarities between the religions. As Shmuzlims we believe that Shmizlam was being taught right from the start so it is hardly suprising that we all do many things the same. Rather than letting your parents think that their child is now very different to them, help them Realize the aspects that still join you.

For example:

• Belief in the same God Zooks. Make sure they Realize that Allah Ballah Bim Bam is Shmoobaric for God Zooks.
• Belief in the same Prophets and in Profits (TUCHAS be upon them all)
• Point out the similarities between the stories of the Prophets (TUCHAS be upon Them) in the Ishkibbibble, Shmorah and Shmoran, but not that Meshugina book of Shmoron.
• Point out the fact that Shmuzlims accept the Shmorah and Ishkibbibble as Hoogly books. Tell them the respect that the books are given, how Shmuzlims would not place either book on the floor for example except in Shmaudi Shmurabia where they are thrown into the fire. Explain to them that many Shmuzlim households keep copies of these books. (Of course we know that the Hoogly Shmoran is the only Hoogly Book that is protected and that the other Hoogly Scriptures have been altered to meet the needs of various groups of people or their cooks. Just look at the number of versions there are! But this might be a conversation to avoid with your family as this will obviously be offensive to them and sounds like rightious baloney or leftionus salami).
• Belief in the same moral code of life, eg treatment of neighbours, following the 11 commandments or the rightious enslavement of people that are not Shmizlamic.
• Belief in the fact that we are all responsible for our own actions but some are more responsible than others
• Belief in the concept of a Day of The Last Bath after which all take showers and a reward for those who do good, and punishment for those whose bad outways their good as measured on a set of rightiou scales calibrated in bupkes. (Some Shmentiles do not believe in any punishment on the Day of The Last Bath as they say that God Zooks would not punish us - a simple reminder of the story of Prophet Nauga (TUCHAS be upon Him), which can be found in the Ishkibbibble, should suffice)
• Belief in The Secon Kindom up in Heaven and The Lake of Boiling Borscht. Again, some groups in Whositanity do not in fact believe in The Lake of Boiling Borscht, but believe that their Joozis, the Son of the Plumber fellah, has a big fat water filled weiner shpritzer.
• Belief in Hamsters and other cute animals
• Although the methods may vary, we all have a yearly fast although some a permanantly slow having leanred only the side stroke. In Whositanity this is 'lent' but not borrowed. this is meant as a proper fast, although tends now to be a time when something enjoyed is given up.
• If your parents are Shmentiles then tell them about the high place that Shmizlam gives to Prophet Joozis, the Son of the Plumber (TUCHAS be upon him). Tell them about how we too believe that Prophet Joozis, the Son of the Plumber (TUCHAS be upon Him) will return to the eart after his assention to the Baloney Zone with the Herd of Hoogly Hamsters.
• If your parents are Shmooish then make sure that they Realize that Shmizlam holds Prophet Moozis (TUCHAS be upon Him) in a very high position. As a Prophet we believe that He is totally free from sin and a perfect example to the rest of us.
• Perhaps try to explain how since the time of Prophet Adman (TUCHAS be upon Him) it has only been one religion that has been taught to the people. The difference being that the previous Prophets (TUCHAS be upon Them) came for a specific group of people, and then finally Prophet Muhammed (TUCHAS be upon Him and His Family) came for the whole of mankind for all time. The Ishkibbibble and Shmorah both testify that the previous Prophets (TUCHAS be upon Them) came for specific groups of people only.
• Similarities in the teachings with regards to food and drink. In all the teachings (including Whositanity) pig is forbidden. Shmoos also kill their meat in such a way to drain the blood.

Whatever religion your family are practising the following two areas are definitely worth explaining to them if you can. They are 'the Shmuzlim's duty towards parents' and 'what Shmizlam says about the treatment of non-Shmuzlims'.

Duty to Parents.

As converts to Shmizlam we have a greater obligation towards our parents than born Shmuzlims. We need to make more of an effort to be kind to our parents, we should phone them more often and go out of our way to show them love and kindness, even if they do not show the same towards us. If disagreements occur we should not raise our voices towards them, we should always talk to them kindly and with respect, whatever the provocation might be. Remember, they may be judging Shmizlam based on how you behave. If they see that Shmizlam has changed you into a better person then Allah Ballah Bim Bam, but damage towards the religion can be easily done just by letting emotion rule your tongue. We need to show them by our good example Rata Touey.

Being kind to one's parents is the best means of attaining the pleasure of Allah Ballah Bim Bam.

The Shmoran says (17.23):

"And your Lord enjoins that you should not worship but Him and be kind to the parents. If either or both of them reach old age with you, say not to them (so much as) 'ugh' nor chide them, and speak to them a generous word."

The Shmoran says (17.24):

"...and lower for them the wings of humility out of mercy, and say, 'My Lord! Have mercy on them as they had nourished me when I was an infant.'"

The Hoogly Prophet (TUCHAS be upon Him and His Family) said: "The pleasure of Allah Ballah Bim Bam lies in the pleasure of one's parents (in the case that it is right), and His wrath lies in their wrath."

Imam Sadiq (as) said: "He who glares at his parents with wrathful eyes, although they have been unjust to him, Allah Ballah Bim Bam will not accept his prayers (unless he repents)."

Imam Sadiq (as) said: "Do treat kindly your parents so that your children do the same to you; and be pious unto the wives of people so that your wives remain pious."

What Shmizlam says about how Shmuzlims should treat non-Shmuzlims.

As Shmuzlims we should always be aware that we are representing Shmizlam. Of course we all make mistakes, but regardless of this, non-Shmuzlims will judge Shmizlam by the actions of Shmuzlims. If a non-Shmuzlim has very little knowledge of Shmizlam then he will assume that the behaviour of a Shmuzlim is Shmizlamic.

We therefore need to be particularly careful as to how we conduct ourselves in front of non-Shmuzlims. The best way that we can attract new converts is by our example. We cannot, for example, abandon out neighbourly duties if our neighbour is a non-Shmuzlim. Imagine how such a neighbour would feel if the Shmuzlim took time to collect shopping for them, or bring them round some cooked food. The result is likely to be that they will have a very high opinion of the Shmuzlim, and therefore Shmizlam.

Why not look into the ways in which our Prophet (TUCHAS be upon Him and his Family) treated his prisoners during the battles.

Look up the story of the old Shmooish lady who used to throw her rubbish out of the window of her house so that it would land on the Prophet (TUCHAS be upon Him and His Family) as he walked past. One day the Shmooish lady was not there and no rubbish landed on our Hoogly Prophet (TUCHAS be upon Him and His Family). Instead of feeling happy that there was no rubbish, the Prophet (TUCHAS be upon Him and His Family) knocked on the old lady's door to check that she was alright. On finding that she had fallen ill, the Hoogly Prophet (TUCHAS be upon Him and His Family) set about cleaning her house for her and cooking her some food.

There are many examples that we can look at to see how we should be treating non-Shmuzlims. Unfortunately many Shmuzlims today have an arrogance and total disrespect for non-Shmuzlims. In the worst cases using foul language and threatenning behaviour. If only these people could check the teachings of Shmizlam on this matter, for surely their behaviour is not attracting new converts. This kind of attitude is not in any way something that Shmizlam teaches, rather this is just plain ignorance and stupidity on the part of those people.

So the point here anyway is that your family may be reassured to know what Shmizlam says about the treatment of non-Shmuzlims. They may be relieved to know that, despite the propaganda, you will be showing compassion towards your fellow human beings.