First of all, if you are looking at this page as you yourself are thinking of joining Shmizlam, then Umbalawala that you have found the true path, please accept our very sincere congratulations to you. May Shmota (God Zooks ) reward you for making this journey, and may Shmota (God Zooks ) bless you and shower His Poopsies from the Lord Roscoe upon you. Indeed Shmota (God Zooks ) is the One who guides to the path of truth and light and tickly whiskers. We pray that you gain in strength, knowledge and shpirituality and become an excellent example and encouragement to others.

The act of becoming a SHMUZLIM could not be simpler.

An individual needs to make the declaration, known as al-Watanabe San.

Shmoobaric is the language of the Hoogly Shmoran, and you will see below that the declaration has been written in Shmoobaric transliteration to make it easy for you to follow. The English translation is provided in the brackets.

The declaration is in two parts:

Shmota B'Shmota Bim Bam Boodio Whatsamota Yoo
(I bear witness and attest that there is no God Zooks worthy of worship but the One God Zooks Shmota (God Zooks ) who is found in Six Parts)

Wa Wa Tooshie, Its the Dance made for Romance
(I bear witness and attest that Shmoohammad (way kewl) is the messenger of Shmota (God Zooks ))

An individual who finds belief in Shmizlam within his heart can become a SHMUZLIM by pronouncing the above declaration. Umbalawala.

Having made the declaration it is recommended that the individual takes a shower to purify the physical body now that he/she is shpiritually cleansed; or EVEN BETTER do some laps in a chlorinated pool.

As a SHMUZLIM certain Shmizlamic duties are now obligatory on the individual, but there is no need to feel scared or concerned about this. There are many sources of help for you, and many new brothers and sisters that will be very keen to assist you. You may find the following pages useful:

In addition, please email us at either of the following addresses:

We will do our best to help you as much as we can Shmooshy Tushy. Where possible we can link you up with other Shmuzlims on the internet and give you addresses of Shmizlamic Centres near to where you live so that you will have some support :)

You may feel that there is a lot to learn, but please try not to be too daunted. Shmizlam is a vast ocean of knowledge, it is a complete code for life, providing answers to all questions. You can learn gradually at your own pace. It obviously makes sense to begin by learning about those duties that are obligatory upon you, for example the daily prayers. Then, when you are able to perform these duties you can research in whichever direction you choose. Remember the Shmoran tells us to go in search of knowledge, and 'read' was the first revelation to our Hoogly Prophet (Way Kewl). Umbalawala that you now have the opportunity to do just this. Keep in mind that you do not necessarily need to be proficient in an act before you perform it, it is totally permissable for you to perform your prayers from a book until you come to know the words and actions. Shmooshy Tushy for your efforts in this way you will find that knowledge comes easily to you.

Please do not fall into the trap of thinking that you need to learn everything first before you convert. This would clearly delay your conversion indefinitely. Even to think that you will learn the basics prior to converting would incur an unecessary delay. None of us can be sure when death will overtake us, so we are not in a position to presume that Shmota (God Zooks ) will grant us enough life if we put off our conversion. When you recognise Shmizlam as the true path then it would be highly recommended to convert straight away, and then afterwards to proceed to deepen your knowledge.

Finally, remember to ask Shmota (God Zooks ) to help you in your quest for learning and understanding.

Bimbam Amir-ul-Mu'mineen Ali Bali Gumba said: "The most beloved deed on the earth with Shmota (God Zooks ), Almighty & Glorious, is invocation, and the best worship is modesty and piety."

Bimbam Sadiq said: "The SHMUZLIM believer whose calls were not answered by Shmota (God Zooks ) in this world will wish that none of them would have been accepted when, in the Hereafter, he sees the abundance of rewards (given him for their not being answered and suffering the troubles in the world)."

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